You may have noticed a makeover to my blog. Although my puppy is adorable, I feel like since I started writing, by blog has developed personality different than what my title was leading on. I think the change is appropriate for the upcoming series of events in my life. So for anyone who hasn't been paying attention or needs their memory refreshed, I'm moving to Colorado on Tuesday! It's scary, surreal, and exciting all at once. I also can't believe I found the strength somehow to actually follow through this time. For almost a year now, I've been trying to make the move and every single time I scare myself out of it. How many times can someone do that? But not this time. I'm tired of being afraid of going somewhere new, learning new things, and meeting new people. Or as my dad would say "reinventing myself." What an exciting thing for me to be doing. There is so much that I want to do and have planned for myself out there. Compared to the monotony I've been living for the past several months, nothing could be more perfect for me.
It almost makes me wonder why I've been so afraid in the first place. Who am I to put my own life, happiness, and well-being on the back burner? No one else it going to look out for me EXCEPT me. I think I was waiting for everything to just magically fall in place and the perfect time to move would just pop up one day. But I finally realized that there is no "perfect time." There are small windows of opportunities that you need to take advantage of, otherwise they pass you by until another one comes along. Well this was my window, my epiphany. Time to do what's best for me. I came across this message in an email, that is fitting for this huge change in my life:
The way you see the world changes after you start to become who you truly are. Seeking stops. Needing stops. You start to simply just be.
A veil of unconsciousness is lifted and you begin to see clearly why things didn't work out the way they did in the past. You see that if you have gotten what you "thought" you wanted, it would have prevented you from living at your highest potential. When you view the world through the eyes of love you begin to see the oneness of all that is.
No one is below you, no one is above you, everyone is one with the flow of life. When you get to this place, all the chaos and struggle of your life makes sense and you will be able to manifest your heart's desire without delay. To get there, do not run from your fear, instead USE your fear.
Love, success, and all the good stuff emerges as you embrace and use your fear to your advantage. Fear will never go away, but you can become best friends with your fear. There is nothing that you need to chase. When you integrate and become what you are seeking, it will find YOU.
Your job is to show up and get busy becoming the person of your dreams!
Don't allow your fears to take over to the point where you are so completely unhappy and sacrificing what is best for you. You wake up every day and go to sleep every night answering to you, and only you. Did you accomplish something today? Did you do something good for someone else? Did you do something good for YOU? My situation is definitely not ideal or perfect by any means. There are a lot of "unknowns" in my near future. Of course I'm anxious and scared, but for the first time in so long I'm excited for what lies ahead. Bring on the unknowns-I'm ready.
♥
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Taking Chances and Conquering Fears
I can't believe how long it's been since I've written on here. Although I'm sure any who have read my blog have forgotten that I even write to begin with. But I didn't forget. In fact, I've come to back to my blog several times since my last entry and just stared at a blank page. I finally have something worth writing about so here it goes:
Somehow I finally managed to find it in me to 1) Decide on moving and 2) Tell my parents I'm moving (<--easily the hardest thing I ever did). For anyone that knows me and my story well enough, it is known that I have struggled with moving for about a year now. And I'm finally doing it-the wheels are officially in motion and I'm anxious and excited and a little scared. I've spent the majority of my life trying to please other people. To the point where my best interests would be much less important. Who knows how many instances in my life I've screwed up because I wanted to make other people happy. I've been in a rut for several months where I have nothing here- to where "home" just doesn't feel like home anymore. I struggled for weeks trying to find the right words to tell my parents. How can anyone accurately explain how they feel? Only you can feel it. I sat down at work today and wrote them a letter and my thoughts seemed to flow a little more clearly. I had to tell them how unhappy I was, and that being only 24 no one should feel how I feel. Like an empty shell where you constantly search for happiness or contentment, yet always seem to come up short handed. That is no way to live- that's not living at all.
So after a long talk and a lot of tears, I got an ok and the support I so desperately wanted from my parents (although still with slight hesitation). I feel good, and relieved, and emotionally drained. This next month will be a long and tough one, but only a precursor of adjusting to living in a new place completely. My dad said that "going somewhere completely different and away from your family won't be easy. You're basically reinventing yourself and that can be very hard on a person." Don't get me wrong he is absolutely right but I just looked at him and said "But that's exactly what I WANT to do." I'm excited for some change. I think this new chapter will be a testament to how strong I really am. Because I am strong, I feel it, and I can't wait to show everyone that I can have the life I want. But most importantly, I can't wait to prove to myself that I can.
I'm Afraid
by Elaine Wilson
I'm afraid of the future and all it may bring;
Yet I cry over the past and all it held.
Life is a voyage
Trapped in the uncertainty of today
With only the healing of our tears for comfort.
To admit need is to give into weakness
Yet not to approach love is to run from a challenge...
Such is life, for we can neither be winners nor losers -
We are stuck in a void
Due to the allowing of ourselves to be controlled
By the actions of others;
And often as not those actions
And our desires
Were not predestined to be the same
And we are left alone and lonely...
So, we must consider loneliness
As being the ultimate opportunity
To listen to the inner self...
And listen we must
To find the ability to look within
For the answers that plague the soul --
For in all adversities
All we really can depend on
Is that which we started with --
Ourselves…
♥
Somehow I finally managed to find it in me to 1) Decide on moving and 2) Tell my parents I'm moving (<--easily the hardest thing I ever did). For anyone that knows me and my story well enough, it is known that I have struggled with moving for about a year now. And I'm finally doing it-the wheels are officially in motion and I'm anxious and excited and a little scared. I've spent the majority of my life trying to please other people. To the point where my best interests would be much less important. Who knows how many instances in my life I've screwed up because I wanted to make other people happy. I've been in a rut for several months where I have nothing here- to where "home" just doesn't feel like home anymore. I struggled for weeks trying to find the right words to tell my parents. How can anyone accurately explain how they feel? Only you can feel it. I sat down at work today and wrote them a letter and my thoughts seemed to flow a little more clearly. I had to tell them how unhappy I was, and that being only 24 no one should feel how I feel. Like an empty shell where you constantly search for happiness or contentment, yet always seem to come up short handed. That is no way to live- that's not living at all.
So after a long talk and a lot of tears, I got an ok and the support I so desperately wanted from my parents (although still with slight hesitation). I feel good, and relieved, and emotionally drained. This next month will be a long and tough one, but only a precursor of adjusting to living in a new place completely. My dad said that "going somewhere completely different and away from your family won't be easy. You're basically reinventing yourself and that can be very hard on a person." Don't get me wrong he is absolutely right but I just looked at him and said "But that's exactly what I WANT to do." I'm excited for some change. I think this new chapter will be a testament to how strong I really am. Because I am strong, I feel it, and I can't wait to show everyone that I can have the life I want. But most importantly, I can't wait to prove to myself that I can.
I'm Afraid
by Elaine Wilson
I'm afraid of the future and all it may bring;
Yet I cry over the past and all it held.
Life is a voyage
Trapped in the uncertainty of today
With only the healing of our tears for comfort.
To admit need is to give into weakness
Yet not to approach love is to run from a challenge...
Such is life, for we can neither be winners nor losers -
We are stuck in a void
Due to the allowing of ourselves to be controlled
By the actions of others;
And often as not those actions
And our desires
Were not predestined to be the same
And we are left alone and lonely...
So, we must consider loneliness
As being the ultimate opportunity
To listen to the inner self...
And listen we must
To find the ability to look within
For the answers that plague the soul --
For in all adversities
All we really can depend on
Is that which we started with --
Ourselves…
♥
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Invitation
Tonight, I won't be actually writing in my blog because in yoga tonight, I had the fortune of hearing this poem. It very much describes the place that I am in my life. Enjoy.
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
♥
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
♥
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thinking with Both Your Heart and Mind
I'm not sure if these posts are becoming repetitive but I'm telling you, these little life lessons don't cease to amaze me. I read and heard about this lesson so I think that merits a blog entry. Yesterday I was reading "Eat Pray Love" and came across a part that must have struck a major chord with me because I read it 5 times in a row. It said:
"To find the balance you want this is what you must do. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."
Then today, I was lucky enough to have a private yoga class. After my butt-kicking, I took some time to ask my instructor why we do certain things, like bringing your hands to heart center and inviting in light. We eventually got to the topic of the importance of thinking with your heart and mind as one instead of two totally separate thought processes.
I mean, think about it. Many people in this world spend most of their lives in a job simply for the "benefits" and being around friends that they only kind of like. Why?? To me, this sounds like self-inflicted torture. Why would you want such mediocrity in the only life you'll ever live? I'm sure a lot of it has to do with fear or a sense of comfort and security, but what about taking chances on something you actually WANT to do? The best way I can explain it is to quote what I read in an article:
"The main reason we suffer from this illness of indecision, is that we’ve mistaken the purpose of heart and mind. The heart is like a compass, it’s purpose is to guide the direction our lives should take. Our heart takes a birds eye view on our life and says 'this is where you’re at and this is the direction you need to go.'
Our mind on the other hand isn’t made for making purpose driven decisions. The nature of the mind is that it conceptualizes, organizes and compares information. It does this as best it can and says 'here are the facts, here’s both sides of the story.'
The mind should never be the judge. The mind's job is to compare and contrast. To sort things out and say “this is what I’ve got, do what you want with it.”
But more often than not, our mind isn’t doing that. Our mind is making our choices. What’s worse, is even when we don’t need our mind to be at work, it’s still going. Comparing and contrasting everything.
Have you ever wondered how to tell whether a decision is right? It seems so difficult, doesn’t it? But it becomes so easy when you think 'Is this choice going with me, or against me?' You’ll find that the right choice is immediately evident."
Earlier I mentioned that I asked my yoga instructor the purpose of bringing your hands to heart center. She told me that one hand represents the light, which is all the good in you and the other represents the shadows, which is the "not so good" in you. Bringing them together acknowledges that you accept that your light and shadows represent who you are as a person, and that we all have flaws. It was at that moment that I realized how much more at peace I am with myself since starting yoga 4 months ago.
So there you have it my fellow readers, though you may be few and far between. Whether you're thinking of moving to start (or share) a new life, find a job you love, discover a new hobby, or get in shape, listen to what your heart and mind have to say and things will eventually fall into place. I hope this entry did some good today.
Namaste-“I recognize that within each of us is a place where divinity dwells, and when we are in that place, we are one.”
♥
"To find the balance you want this is what you must do. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."
Then today, I was lucky enough to have a private yoga class. After my butt-kicking, I took some time to ask my instructor why we do certain things, like bringing your hands to heart center and inviting in light. We eventually got to the topic of the importance of thinking with your heart and mind as one instead of two totally separate thought processes.
I mean, think about it. Many people in this world spend most of their lives in a job simply for the "benefits" and being around friends that they only kind of like. Why?? To me, this sounds like self-inflicted torture. Why would you want such mediocrity in the only life you'll ever live? I'm sure a lot of it has to do with fear or a sense of comfort and security, but what about taking chances on something you actually WANT to do? The best way I can explain it is to quote what I read in an article:
"The main reason we suffer from this illness of indecision, is that we’ve mistaken the purpose of heart and mind. The heart is like a compass, it’s purpose is to guide the direction our lives should take. Our heart takes a birds eye view on our life and says 'this is where you’re at and this is the direction you need to go.'
Our mind on the other hand isn’t made for making purpose driven decisions. The nature of the mind is that it conceptualizes, organizes and compares information. It does this as best it can and says 'here are the facts, here’s both sides of the story.'
The mind should never be the judge. The mind's job is to compare and contrast. To sort things out and say “this is what I’ve got, do what you want with it.”
But more often than not, our mind isn’t doing that. Our mind is making our choices. What’s worse, is even when we don’t need our mind to be at work, it’s still going. Comparing and contrasting everything.
Have you ever wondered how to tell whether a decision is right? It seems so difficult, doesn’t it? But it becomes so easy when you think 'Is this choice going with me, or against me?' You’ll find that the right choice is immediately evident."
Earlier I mentioned that I asked my yoga instructor the purpose of bringing your hands to heart center. She told me that one hand represents the light, which is all the good in you and the other represents the shadows, which is the "not so good" in you. Bringing them together acknowledges that you accept that your light and shadows represent who you are as a person, and that we all have flaws. It was at that moment that I realized how much more at peace I am with myself since starting yoga 4 months ago.
So there you have it my fellow readers, though you may be few and far between. Whether you're thinking of moving to start (or share) a new life, find a job you love, discover a new hobby, or get in shape, listen to what your heart and mind have to say and things will eventually fall into place. I hope this entry did some good today.
Namaste-“I recognize that within each of us is a place where divinity dwells, and when we are in that place, we are one.”
♥
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Simple Messages Speak Volumes
This will probably be a short and simple entry but this is the first time in weeks where I felt the need to post another life lesson. Since my last post, my life has become quite the whirlwind- Some good and some not so good. I did finally get a big girl job, so that has been very exciting :) But I digress, the lesson I learned seems pretty straightforward and makes me wonder why I didn't think this way before. Maybe I did think about it to some extent but this time it really resonated with me. So here it goes.
After a few weeks I finally went back to yoga. I was feeling super stressed and out of shape so I needed my hour and a half of ass kicking. At the end of the class the teacher was sitting with us and told us about a 60 year old man and the spiritual journey he made to India when he was 16. He said that the ultimate natural goal in life for humans is to find that love and companionship that completes one's life. However, it is impossible to find that love in someone else if you do not whole heartedly love yourself. Which makes sense. How can someone else love you if you don't even love yourself? I know that I like myself and there are parts of myself and my life that I do love, but I don't know if I can say I totally and completely love myself.
So I have decided to work on this- I'm at a good point in my life to do so. I'm going to focus on my life and what's best for me, my new career, and what makes ME happy. I'm the type of girl who always puts others before me-which I enjoy doing but I can't sacrifice my own personal happiness and well-being to do so anymore. I'm going to be a little bit selfish with my needs, and in time I know I will love myself completely and eventually be ready to give that love to someone else.
So if anyone else is in a similar situation, whether it be new beginnings, a recent break-up, a job you hate, or feeling out of shape- keep your head up. Focus on you and what you want and things will eventually fall into place.
"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”
♥
After a few weeks I finally went back to yoga. I was feeling super stressed and out of shape so I needed my hour and a half of ass kicking. At the end of the class the teacher was sitting with us and told us about a 60 year old man and the spiritual journey he made to India when he was 16. He said that the ultimate natural goal in life for humans is to find that love and companionship that completes one's life. However, it is impossible to find that love in someone else if you do not whole heartedly love yourself. Which makes sense. How can someone else love you if you don't even love yourself? I know that I like myself and there are parts of myself and my life that I do love, but I don't know if I can say I totally and completely love myself.
So I have decided to work on this- I'm at a good point in my life to do so. I'm going to focus on my life and what's best for me, my new career, and what makes ME happy. I'm the type of girl who always puts others before me-which I enjoy doing but I can't sacrifice my own personal happiness and well-being to do so anymore. I'm going to be a little bit selfish with my needs, and in time I know I will love myself completely and eventually be ready to give that love to someone else.
So if anyone else is in a similar situation, whether it be new beginnings, a recent break-up, a job you hate, or feeling out of shape- keep your head up. Focus on you and what you want and things will eventually fall into place.
"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”
♥
Monday, July 12, 2010
For Lou...
I could never accurately describe the grief that has come over the surrounding neighborhoods in which I live. Last week, I along with many others, lost an extremely close friend who was serving our country in Afghanistan. I still find it difficult to talk about what happened, so here is the story that came out about him in our paper. http://www.dailylocal.com/articles/2010/07/08/news/srv0000008784631.txt
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name.
Now all we have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part
God has you in His keeping
We have you in our Heart.
Lou was the fiance of one of my closest friends, Ashley, and it truly breaks my heart that she is going through this. He brought out something so special in her, and seeing them together gave me hope that there is true love in this world. My heart goes out to her, Lou's family, and to anyone who knew him who has been deeply saddened by his passing.
My fondest memories with Lou are those where I could spend time with him and Ashley as well as two of his closest friends Ed Vard and Tziwei. I remember watching Lou doing his repetitive pop and lock dance moves in the bar and I told him he would meet his match in a dance off when he came home again. He'd make fun of me all the time but he would always end up feeling bad a few seconds after, come over and hug me and say "I'm just kidding, Emily. You know I love you." And I did know that. Anyone who knew Lou could see that underneath his tough exterior, he was a compassionate and incredibly loving person. Or as Ashley and I would say "a big teddy bear and totally mushy." When I look through pictures of him, I come across a few where his smile is so big and sincere that I can hear his laugh. I loved his laugh. According to him I made ridiculous faces which made him crack up.
Lou was an amazing son, brother, fiance, godfather, and friend to all who knew him. But to be able to add a true hero to our nation, that is something that will never be forgotten. Rest in Peace, my friend. You left your mark on my heart, those who were fortunate enough to know you, those who have read of your honor, and the entire country that you served so bravely for.
So for anyone who has shared memories with Lou, feel free to comment on here.
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name.
Now all we have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part
God has you in His keeping
We have you in our Heart.
♥
Monday, June 28, 2010
Positive People
"Get rid of the negative people in your life - surround yourself with positive people who believe in you and inspire you."
"Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher."
This may sound like a no-brainer to a lot of people, but I think in actuality, most people don't realize where the root of their negativity comes from. I'm a prime example of this. For countless months I found myself barely getting through my day and only by doing the bare minimum. I didn't feel like trying, or working, or thinking. Looking back on this, I was probably in a complete daze for most of the time. I wasn't eating right, I stopped working out, and just felt outright alone and miserable.
It's amazing how a few changes and a positive sequence of events can really change how you go through life. Go to a few posts back where I talked about the glass being half full or half empty. It sounds so cliched but it's true. Good things have started to happen to some of my closest friends which has changed their attitudes. Life changes quickly, whether it's for the best or worst. Many things you can't control. But jeopardizing the relationships to those who are closest to you or damaging new ones before they really even have a chance to begin should not be a residual effect of life changes. I still can't find a job, but I know it's only because times are still rough for a lot of businesses. I'm confident that I will find a perfect fit soon because I know what I have to offer in a career and I have lots of wonderful people supporting me with strong words of encouragement. It's little things like this that make me realize how fortunate I am-jobless or not.
“You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.”
Be sure to thank the positive people in your life. Chances are they're doing more for you than you realize. I know that mine are.
♥
"Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher."
This may sound like a no-brainer to a lot of people, but I think in actuality, most people don't realize where the root of their negativity comes from. I'm a prime example of this. For countless months I found myself barely getting through my day and only by doing the bare minimum. I didn't feel like trying, or working, or thinking. Looking back on this, I was probably in a complete daze for most of the time. I wasn't eating right, I stopped working out, and just felt outright alone and miserable.
It's amazing how a few changes and a positive sequence of events can really change how you go through life. Go to a few posts back where I talked about the glass being half full or half empty. It sounds so cliched but it's true. Good things have started to happen to some of my closest friends which has changed their attitudes. Life changes quickly, whether it's for the best or worst. Many things you can't control. But jeopardizing the relationships to those who are closest to you or damaging new ones before they really even have a chance to begin should not be a residual effect of life changes. I still can't find a job, but I know it's only because times are still rough for a lot of businesses. I'm confident that I will find a perfect fit soon because I know what I have to offer in a career and I have lots of wonderful people supporting me with strong words of encouragement. It's little things like this that make me realize how fortunate I am-jobless or not.
“You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.”
Be sure to thank the positive people in your life. Chances are they're doing more for you than you realize. I know that mine are.
♥
Sunday, June 20, 2010
For All Daddies...Especially Mine
Today's entry was an easy choice for me. There is nothing else I'd rather write about today than my wonderfully awesome daddy. My dad and I have become partners in crime. Whether it be some sort of culinary adventure, trying new beers at some dive bar, or working on our photography, there is never a shortage of fun or laughs. I am a total daddy's girl. Since day one, my dad has been the uber protective "Emily, remember boys lie," and "where's the rest of that skirt, young lady?" kind of dad. He's been my role model, my inspiration, my protector, and my shoulder to cry on. He still refers to me as "his little baby girl" which can be both endearing and annoying. He hates that I'm growing up and he especially hates the thought of having another guy take care of me; or as he might see it "replace him." To the point where watching Father of the Bride makes him teary eyed and he threatens to put me in a convent. Yes, a convent. I remember conversations where I would start with "When I get married one day..." That's when my dad interrupts me with "There are no weddings in the convent." But I digress. My dad should know by now that he is 100% irreplaceable to me. I always said my two main men are my dad and my brother because they have been and always will be there for me. The person I marry one day (I'm not going to a convent) has some pretty big shoes to fill. I can only hope for a man and father for my maybe-one-day children to be even half as amazing as my dad is. I look forward to maybe one day adding "amazing grandfather" to the ever growing list of my dad's wonderful attributes. So with that said, here's to my daddy and amazing daddy's everywhere:
Here's to the fathers, who always begin,
on the outside of children, but looking in.
Such curious men snapping cameras like mad,
recording the moment, they turn into "Dad."
Here's to the fathers, who put in their time,
who don't say to mothers 'that's your job, not mine'.
Who wipe chins and noses and never say "won't"
who do with the diapers, what some fathers don't.
And as the child grows, they grow with it too,
learning a depth that they never knew.
And soon they are older, their hair slightly gone,
chasing two children around the front lawn.
Or car-pooling teams to Little League games,
buying them hamburgers after it rains.
They mend broken dolls and fix broken wheels,
they cringe when their daughters, try their first pair of heels.
They reach in their pockets, but never keep count,
they pay dear for parenthood, in awful amounts
They postpone their plans to sail across seas,
instead they sing "Barney" and bandage skinned knees.
Here's to the fathers who get off the phone,
to hear their sons practice their new saxophone
Who leave work to see their daughter's recital
Here's to the heroes, who work without title.
So here's to the fathers who won't compromise
who see a light shining in their children's eyes
And feel a rare glow as if from a gem
and know that once someone saw this glow in them.
For all the good boys they have raised in the world
for all the examples they set for their girls
For all the loved children whose stories they'll tell
Here's to the father's that taught them so well.
Happy Father's Day!
Here's to the fathers, who always begin,
on the outside of children, but looking in.
Such curious men snapping cameras like mad,
recording the moment, they turn into "Dad."
Here's to the fathers, who put in their time,
who don't say to mothers 'that's your job, not mine'.
Who wipe chins and noses and never say "won't"
who do with the diapers, what some fathers don't.
And as the child grows, they grow with it too,
learning a depth that they never knew.
And soon they are older, their hair slightly gone,
chasing two children around the front lawn.
Or car-pooling teams to Little League games,
buying them hamburgers after it rains.
They mend broken dolls and fix broken wheels,
they cringe when their daughters, try their first pair of heels.
They reach in their pockets, but never keep count,
they pay dear for parenthood, in awful amounts
They postpone their plans to sail across seas,
instead they sing "Barney" and bandage skinned knees.
Here's to the fathers who get off the phone,
to hear their sons practice their new saxophone
Who leave work to see their daughter's recital
Here's to the heroes, who work without title.
So here's to the fathers who won't compromise
who see a light shining in their children's eyes
And feel a rare glow as if from a gem
and know that once someone saw this glow in them.
For all the good boys they have raised in the world
for all the examples they set for their girls
For all the loved children whose stories they'll tell
Here's to the father's that taught them so well.
Happy Father's Day!
♥
Friday, June 18, 2010
More words of encouragement
So here I am already skipping several consecutive days of blogging (shame on me). I should probably change my blog subtitle to "A whenever I feel like writing" blog. I'm sure once my life becomes more interesting, I'll have more valuable things to write about. I skipped the next day after my first post because I had a lot of news and didn't want to jinx myself. But since it has passed, I guess I can discuss it now.
Big news, I had a major job interview on Tuesday for a fantastic company and an amazing opportunity. It went well considering it was a panel interview in front of three men. It is an incredibly competitive position, so I am most definitely not getting my hopes up about getting that job. But after having dinner with my dad tonight over pizza and an entire bottle of Merlot, I had some sort of mini epiphany. For those of you who empathize with my current life situation you should pay attention from this point on...
I have found myself viewing my life in a "glass half empty" sort of perspective. After talking to my dad, I realized I really should start to shape my life around the good things that I do have. I am a good daughter, sister, best friend. I am smart, and determined, and confident in what I am capable of accomplishing. Just because I'm having trouble finding a job, does not mean that I am not good enough- it means that I haven't found that perfect fit for me. I have now taken it upon myself to expand my horizons, especially in the sense of my career path. I can't let my fears keep me from finding an amazing job because when it comes down to it, it's up to me to make an excellent career for myself. I neglected to read a book that my mom's best friend gave me for my birthday one year. I opened it today. It's called Half Full: Meditations on Hope, Optimism, and the Things that Matter. This is just from one page that really touched me.
"Here it is , in a nutshell. We all have a choice. See the world how you want. There are tons of opportunities and heaps of difficulties in everyone's life. This is unchangeable and real given. So here's where your wonderful perspective comes in. See a possibility- a new job path, a blooming relationship- and what happens? Do you immediately immerse yourself in thoughts of what could go wrong? Do you rein in your desires because you're afraid of getting hurt?
Now look at the difficulties- face them head-on. What do you see? Toil and frustration without compensation? Or can you see steps, even painful ones, on the path to a goal? Things worth accomplishing are difficult, and the course of true love never did run smooth. No news here. So why not take another look and see the opportunities hiding in the cracks of every difficulty, and acknowledge the difficulties inherent in any opportunity?"
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill
♥
Big news, I had a major job interview on Tuesday for a fantastic company and an amazing opportunity. It went well considering it was a panel interview in front of three men. It is an incredibly competitive position, so I am most definitely not getting my hopes up about getting that job. But after having dinner with my dad tonight over pizza and an entire bottle of Merlot, I had some sort of mini epiphany. For those of you who empathize with my current life situation you should pay attention from this point on...
I have found myself viewing my life in a "glass half empty" sort of perspective. After talking to my dad, I realized I really should start to shape my life around the good things that I do have. I am a good daughter, sister, best friend. I am smart, and determined, and confident in what I am capable of accomplishing. Just because I'm having trouble finding a job, does not mean that I am not good enough- it means that I haven't found that perfect fit for me. I have now taken it upon myself to expand my horizons, especially in the sense of my career path. I can't let my fears keep me from finding an amazing job because when it comes down to it, it's up to me to make an excellent career for myself. I neglected to read a book that my mom's best friend gave me for my birthday one year. I opened it today. It's called Half Full: Meditations on Hope, Optimism, and the Things that Matter. This is just from one page that really touched me.
"Here it is , in a nutshell. We all have a choice. See the world how you want. There are tons of opportunities and heaps of difficulties in everyone's life. This is unchangeable and real given. So here's where your wonderful perspective comes in. See a possibility- a new job path, a blooming relationship- and what happens? Do you immediately immerse yourself in thoughts of what could go wrong? Do you rein in your desires because you're afraid of getting hurt?
Now look at the difficulties- face them head-on. What do you see? Toil and frustration without compensation? Or can you see steps, even painful ones, on the path to a goal? Things worth accomplishing are difficult, and the course of true love never did run smooth. No news here. So why not take another look and see the opportunities hiding in the cracks of every difficulty, and acknowledge the difficulties inherent in any opportunity?"
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill
♥
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Welcome to my blog!
Let me start out by saying that I began this blog about 2 months ago. I thought way too hard about a creative title, a sub title, and a link. Alas, after all this thought, I couldn't think of anything to say. I revisited my empty page several times hoping for an epiphany where I could release any and every thought I had (no matter how boring it was). I still had nothing. I found myself going to my friend Kat's blog regularly to see what she was writing about. I think her life is much more interesting than mine, because I find that my life is in one giant limbo. Here I am, a recent college grad looking for a full-time job, where I spend my days being single, playing with my dog or cooking-while just about everyone else I know is working, getting engaged, or is already married. *Sigh* I'm too young for this to be happening already.
So after thinking for quite a bit, I thought maybe the absence of interest in my life could benefit me in this blog. I have decided not to look at it as me writing about the confusion that is my life, but rather a way for me to look back on these days and see how far I have come. I'm hoping to write as frequently as Kat, but I can't promise anything at this point. My blog will probably start with a boring synopsis of my day and my latest cooking/baking discovery-although I'm hoping for more interesting entries. I'll leave you for now with what prompted this first entry (and hopefully the start of many). After cleaning my room today, I stumbled across a birthday card given to me on my 21st birthday by my parents. I found the words extremely comforting given where I am in my life right now. So if anyone who reads this can empathize, I encourage you to read the following:
A Beautiful Life
Love yourself, make peace with who you are, and where you are at this moment in time. Listen to your heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars. Try. Take chances. Make mistakes. Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone. Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have. Make do. That's a well-kept secret of contentment. There aren't many shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to make your own way. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it. Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you. Make a beautiful life...the kind of life you deserve.
So here it is. My start of my blog mid-epiphany. I chose to change the domain of my blog to "a sense of serendipity" for three reasons. First, it's my favorite word. I am a fan of irony, and to me there is nothing more ironic than "a fortunate accident." Two, it's become my favorite movie. Partly because of the name and meaning, but I'm a total sucker for movies that turn out like a fairytale. And three, I think my life could use a little serendipity-good luck in the making and unexpected discoveries.
♥
So after thinking for quite a bit, I thought maybe the absence of interest in my life could benefit me in this blog. I have decided not to look at it as me writing about the confusion that is my life, but rather a way for me to look back on these days and see how far I have come. I'm hoping to write as frequently as Kat, but I can't promise anything at this point. My blog will probably start with a boring synopsis of my day and my latest cooking/baking discovery-although I'm hoping for more interesting entries. I'll leave you for now with what prompted this first entry (and hopefully the start of many). After cleaning my room today, I stumbled across a birthday card given to me on my 21st birthday by my parents. I found the words extremely comforting given where I am in my life right now. So if anyone who reads this can empathize, I encourage you to read the following:
A Beautiful Life
Love yourself, make peace with who you are, and where you are at this moment in time. Listen to your heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars. Try. Take chances. Make mistakes. Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone. Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have. Make do. That's a well-kept secret of contentment. There aren't many shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to make your own way. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it. Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you. Make a beautiful life...the kind of life you deserve.
So here it is. My start of my blog mid-epiphany. I chose to change the domain of my blog to "a sense of serendipity" for three reasons. First, it's my favorite word. I am a fan of irony, and to me there is nothing more ironic than "a fortunate accident." Two, it's become my favorite movie. Partly because of the name and meaning, but I'm a total sucker for movies that turn out like a fairytale. And three, I think my life could use a little serendipity-good luck in the making and unexpected discoveries.
♥
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